I don't make close online fandom "frienships" anymore. I don't have time to maintain them and memories of being burned badly the last few times I did it make me shy away from all that. There are one or two people I chat with outside of LJ once in a blue moon, but that's nowhere near the norm, I'm sure.

Still, I miss the intimate one-on-one connection. I miss the in-jokes and the gossip sometimes, even though, in retrospect, in-jokes and gossip have this way of turning into sekrit wank of the cruelest sort aimed at other fen/writers. Which is something I despise.

I know I seem aloof. But it's only because I've gained wisdom over the years and holding myself back is the wisest choice.

Even if it's not the most fun one.

Dear Three Laptop Lady,

You better be planning to stay in the HP fandom a long, long time.

Because your ass is going to be bitched out of town in any others you'll ever try to join.

No love,
Ingrid

Writers are weird creatures.

Praise for another is like a cheese grater on our ears. The label of "brilliant" is a warning to us to stay far away from the repugnant leper that's wandered into our midst all secure in their talent and guaranteed adoration.

It's the worst thing that can happen to a writer, being publicly loved.

Strange how hard we pray it'll happen to us, and soon, damnit!

OMG, Journalfen has won the prize for the world's first snot-ass maintenance page warning:

Maintenance

Journalfen is down right now while we do some work. We will be back up once the server has had a little rest and we have more frequent automatic database back-ups finished. Refreshing this page a million times won't make it come back up any sooner.

Wow. Here's my ass, JF. Please suck it.

I just gave those dumb fucks money too. Damn.

I don't read fic based on subjects and pairings I don't like no matter how well written it may or may not be.

This is not a moral failing.

This is not an intellectual failing.

It's not a exclusion issue. It's not an entitlement issue. It's not misogyny. It's not racism, sexism, homophobia, heterophobia, kinkophobia, or any of the other idiotic psychosocial labels people want to give it.

As George Carlin once famously stated... I just don't like it.

Please stop trying to tell me it's something more. Because it's not.

I Just. Don't. Like. It.

What is it about "unattractive subject matter sucks all the goodness out of even brilliant writing" don't people understand?

Oh, wait. Don't answer that. Please.

*puts on earmuffs and hums Christmas carols*

A decade on line and you'd think I'd be cynical by now ...

Sorry, but that "three laptop" lady in the HP fandom?

She has no fucking shame.

That is all.

How much do I love my Firefox Yahoo! Toolbar extension?

THIS FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Why do I have a cold sore?!? I don't have a cold.

AUGH!

A Series of Unfortunate Events

1. Author whines to friends over chat about lack of feedback for latest story.

2. Author's sympathetic friends pimp it on their blogs, loudly and simultaneously.

3. Author is very happy because nobody will ever figure out that it's a giant pity pimp. It looks like a orgy of recs, right?

Except ... not. Hint: The simultaneous part sort of gives it away.

It's pathetic. Please, fragile authors. Beg for your pity in public, okay? At least I'll have more respect for you.

I love how when I ask Elena to bring home cat food she just sweeps half the shelf off into a basket and brings that home, instead of what all my former girlfriends did -- buy a single can.

This is the difference between a fling and forever, yo.

I hate how most "dark" fic writers don't realize that it's not about how you kill the character, it's what you do with the body afterwards.

I've donated money on occasion to a few folks on my friend's list who were in dire straights, such as not having enough for gas and food until the next paycheck. I'm in a fortunate position of having enough money not to have to worry about these things, so I spread the Karma around just as I believe Christ would want me to.

Not really a big deal. However, if someone's laptop got stolen and I have an inkling they can eventually get another one ... please. Laptops are luxuries. Hitting the internet cafe or the library until you can afford another is one of those inconveniences that come with the bumps real life hands out on occasion.

Accepting donations from online readers for a new luxury item, especially from a few who are probably worse off than you? Tacky, tacky, tacky!

On the other hand, if some strangers want to dump their wallets into your lap for whatever weird reason, that's their prerogative, I guess.

But I can't help but wonder what that says about someone who thinks they deserve this sort of handout for something that's not necessary to life.

*shrug*

Giants' game -- Jeremey Shockey talks shit, can no longer catch a damned thing.

That's karma, right there. Or maybe just 400 lb guys who don't like shit-talkers.

Having wild sex dreams about straight friends is so not of the good.

*shakes fist at subconscious*

I'm too fucking old for this! OLD!

In other news, the Jets against the Texans is turning out to be a good game. There is no God.

Did Freddy Mercury really have a thing with Montserrat Caballé?

Holy shit. Hear that sound?

That's the sound of my queer card being revoked.

FOR I DID NOT KNOW!!!!

So Barry Bonds is the best of the steriod-fueled players, a.k.a., all of them in the current drug-addicted playing field.

Big fucking deal. Babe Ruth did it on hot dogs, cigars and pussy.

Barry Bonds couldn't lick Ruth's ass. I hope he's forced to stop the drugs over the break and is completely unable to hit another home run -- hell, get any hit -- for the rest of his career.

It'll be poetic justice for the 'roid head of 'roid heads.

Oswald is the only semi-watchable "Noggin" show. The rest make you want to poke your own eyeballs out, only after Oobi's are ripped off and thrown into the river.

Fred Savage and "Squiggy" are two of the voices. "Lenny" once showed up as a cousin of the penguin "Squiggy" plays. They even did the little "HELLO!" as a joke.

Other than that, Noggin makes me want to kill myself.

Is MAD TV still making episodes? I've been watching what I think are reruns on Comedy Central. This one has the formerly heavy castmate not being funny anymore now that he's lost weight.

Sort of like Oprah. Not that she was ever funny.

Now he's eating everything in sight. Beating up Girl Scouts for their cookies. Knocking a breast-feeding baby off its mothers tit and drinking, then going on the stage and screaming "LOVE ME, I'M FAT AGAIN!" It's pretty funny.

They have "Kids In The Hall" on this station too. I used to watch that religiously. It's more cute than funny now, but back then it was the cutting edge of cutting edge. With the gayest of blades.